Today I am so excited I get to go see Caitlyn in her first play, Zink! She has been rehearsing and the show opened Friday and I have seen none of it! I feel very detached. In the past when the kids participated in something I was always there. I saw all the rehearsals and went to all the shows but the truth is that with a nursing little one and an active two year old it is very hard for me to attend all these things. Also the truth is that Caitlyn does not need me at everything anymore. She is fourteen years old, almost fifteen and she is branching out. This is great and I am proud of her. But I am very excited to go see her show!

I also just realized that this will be the very first time that I leave Willy. He will be eleven months in two days and I know that it is okay for these three hours it is still a little tough for me. He will be home with daddy and I am sure they will be just fine without me. The bitter-sweetness of the statement stings … yes I want him to be fine and happy with dad and I want to go enjoy the show but the idea that he is already growing up makes cry (tears of joy and sadness).

What I just realized as I type this is that I have the same struggles with my oldest and my youngest children today. They are both growing up! Darn it! Where does the time go? Can we pause? Rewind?

I am off to enjoy my children, hope you have a wonderful day!